Journey in the Dark

I think summer is over. Today I spent hours sorting wedding pictures, and putting them in an album. It was sad. The memories of the day were wonderful. But putting all the photos in order, into an album, brought some kind of finality to a summer of craziness, fun, and special moments, that had a few too many good-byes.

I went for a run to clear my head. I remembered the many days last fall running with Krissy, talking about Dave, her excitement about him, then their engagement, the planning. And I realized that last year was huge…it was full. Not all of good things…there were a few surgeries, alot of pain, but through it all our family was together. And there was alot going on. It led to a full summer, one that I took one day at a time.

So the summer happened…a great wedding. Tons of activity at home. A big move for Krissy and Dave. Back to campus for Nikki. Tim and Jessica, good friends, left for a year in Israel. The whole summer I told myself “just enjoy every minute, soak it in” and I am thankful that I did! I didn’t say goodbyes until I had to.

Now it is over, and usually when a summer ends I feel like “back to the real world!, summer fun is done.” But this year nothing really feels the same. So much is different. A new stage of life is very real. I’m not sure what this year will feel like. I’m feeling a little stunned. And very sad. Like I am letting go of something that I can’t hang on to any more, but really wish I could. Like some part of me is sinking into a sea, and I realize it has drowned already and I need to let it sink…let go, say goodbye.

So I feel like there is yet one more goodbye I need to say, but I can’t quite get a grip as to exactly what I am saying goodbye to. So I’ll just say goodbye to summer…and let the other goodbye that I think needs to be said in my heart happen as it will. And hopefully I will embrace what God has planned for me each day, and trust Him to carry me as we journey together.

So goodbye summer….you were truly amazing!